วันพุธที่ 17 กันยายน พ.ศ. 2557

My Most Beautiful Moment

My first trip in Prajuab Kirikhan with my best friend was my most beautiful moment. The first beautiful moment was huahin beach. I went there in the morning. I swim a lot and had fun. I ate popcorn too it is delicious. Next, I went to Plearnwarn. The place is beautiful. I take a lot of picture. I eat a lot too.  I saw a Farang. he was handsome and lovely. The last place I go is water market. I ate  a lot again. I buy stuff. I am really funny there. In conclusion, the story at huahin is my most beautiful moment.
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  1. Rossoneriaod17 กันยายน 2557 เวลา 05:14

    My first trip in Prajuab Kirikhan with my best friend was my most beautiful moment. The first beautiful moment was huahin beach. I went there in the morning. I swam a lot and had fun. I ate popcorn too. It was delicious. Next, I went to Plearnwarn. The place was beautiful. I took a lot of pictures. I ate a lot too. I saw a foreigner. He was handsome and lovely. The last place I go was water market. I ate a lot again. I brought stuff. I was really happy there. In conclusion, the story at Huahin was my most beautiful moment.

    - you should cut "I saw a foreigner. He was handsome and lovely" because it is irrelevant.
    - You can use only past tense. Look more -->http://wisuth.weebly.com/past-tense.html
    - add more transition
    - add more relative clause EX I ate popcorn which was brought from a lovely seller who had a shop around the beach. to add more detail.
    -if you have questions, post here. Good job ! you got 14/20
    เขียนโดย AODAC ที่ 05:04

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